Saturday, December 3, 2016
JACK'S MAGICAL BEANSTALK series by @PabloMichaels1 #RPBP #gay #erotica
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Friday, December 2, 2016
Release Day Blitz! The Case of The Dead Dowager by @JudithLucci! #RPBP #ASMSG #Thriller
Retired homicide detective Michaela McPherson and the aging Countess Dorothy Borghase team up again—this time to match wits with two serial killers stalking children, women and the elderly.
When Dottie Borghase's friend Camilla Rothrock collapses at a lunch gathering of old friends, the countess's only concern is to dial 911 for help. But Camilla's subsequent death has authorities buzzing about international safety and retaliation, because her son is decorated U.S. Army General Stuart Rothrock.
As other restaurant patrons in Richmond meet similar fates, Michaela and Dottie join forces with the Richmond Police and the FBI to track down the pair of heinous murderers. But in order to catch the killers, they will put their own lives and the lives of others in in serious jeopardy.What Price Must a City Pay to Keep its Citizen's Safe?
Book link: http://bit.ly/GetCaseofDowager
How about an excerpt:
Dottie turned off the main highway and headed south to Blackstone Virginia. Madame Toulescent lived just outside of Blackstone and that's where she conducted her psychic readings. She wished away the butterflies that cramped her stomach. She had a sense that what she was going to hear wasn’t good. She wished she didn't believe in the value of psychics or the unknown but she did, and that was that. She’d seen psychic readings and prophecies come true time after time during her life. Mic wasn’t a believer at all but had grudgingly admitted psychics had helped them in a case about ten years ago.
The speedometer on her car registered over sixty miles an hour on a forty-five mile limit stretch of highway. I'd better slow down. The last thing I need is a Virginia state trooper on my tail. She braked and her car skidded but she handled it skillfully. The Cadillac was a big, monster car but she really liked it. Since Dottie had lived in the US, she had always preferred German-made cars and previously owned multiple Mercedes Benz. Of course, when Count Borghase had been alive, they’d always driven Italian cars, mainly Ferraris. But now she was pretty much American and she loved her Caddy. There was something about the Cadillac that was so plush and so American that she bought a new one every couple of years.
She saw an old gray mule in the pasture out of the corner of her eye and saw the fence that was lying on the side. Dottie didn’t know what she’d do if they ever repaired that fence. She’d been looking at that fence on the ground for years and it was her landmark just before she turned onto Madame’s private road. She knew her turn was just up ahead. She slowed for a farmer carrying a load of hay in an old truck. He was hogging the entire road. Now where in the hell am I supposed to go? She steered her big car to the side of the road as far as she could without falling into the ditch. She cursed and held her breath as the farmer passed her. She swore the farmer missed her by less than an inch. The old codger hadn't even looked her way. She shook her head and cursed again softly. She threw her white Caddy into first gear and roared out of the ditch spewing gravel, dirt, and mud all over the road. She saw three rabbits running for their life and hoped she hadn’t interrupted their nest. Dottie drove a little further and made her left turn. She turned right on the first road and started the difficult trip along the horrible, rutted road to Madame Toulescent’s tiny home. The road was almost a mile long. Dottie's tall, thin frame bounced all over her plush leather seat and her hair fell out of her neatly arranged bun. I'm going to have to take a pain pill. All this jumping around is killing my hips. Secretly Dottie new she needed to have her hips replaced but there was no way she was willing to do that, at least not while she could walk. I wouldn't be able to help Michaela. And then, what would she do?
Madame Toulescent waved at Dottie from her front porch filled with flowers and beautiful hanging baskets of petunias and begonias. Her small white cottage was immaculate. Madame Toulescent watched her painstakingly steer her huge Cadillac down her battered road. Dottie brought the iron beast to a stop, looked in her rearview mirror and re-pinned a piece of white hair that had worked its way out of her perfect updo. Even though the Madame lived in a house that was little better than a house trailer, Dottie had been trained from birth to always look perfect when visiting. This task had become monumental at age 82. She reached for her purse and checked to make sure her Glock was nestled in its special pocket. She checked her lipstick in the mirror, pinched her lips together, cursed the fine lines around her mouth and got out of the car.
"Hello Madame Toulescent. Thank you for seeing me today on short notice." Dorothy smiled her gracious smile at the psychic, showing her beautiful white veneers, once available for a large price from the famous, dentist-to-the-stars Dr. Michael Smirkowitz.
"You are so welcome, Countess Borghase." Madame Toulescent looked around the empty fields and through the trees and gestured with her arm. "As you can see, there is no waiting line. Please come in. I've made us some tea." She paused for a moment and said, "Watch the steps. They're in need of repair," she cautioned.
In need of repair, my butt, they need to be rebuilt Dottie climbed the rickety steps dodging rusty nails and wood splinters. She grasped the loose railing and posts that held up the old front porch. The last thing she wanted to do was fall and break something. She followed Madame Toulescent into her small but neat and cozy home. There was a wonderful scent in the air and Dottie’s mouth watered.
"Please have a seat in the easy chair," the Madame offered. "I'll bring us some tea and sweet bread."
Dottie nodded and smiled her thanks as she carefully studied Madame Toulescent. She wasn't sure of her nationality. She thought she was Eastern European but she seemed very much like the French and her house had several amazing pieces of French country furniture. In years past, she had asked the Madame about her former life, but the psychic seemed unwilling to share her past. Her voice had a strange accent Dottie couldn't identify which frustrated her. Dottie had traveled the world and she knew the languages and dialects of most ethnic populations. But she couldn't figure out Madame Toulescent’s origins. That puzzled her.
Madame handed Dottie a cup of herb tea. The aroma alerted her senses and she immediately felt more awake and inspired. The tea had given her energy and awareness. She took a sip. It was delicious.
"Oh my, Madame Toulescent. Whatever is in this tea? I feel a million times better just from smelling it. You’ve got to tell me where you got it because I know Cookie would love it too," Dottie gushed as she sipped her tea.
Madame Toulescent smiled and said. "I made the tea. It's a blend of ginger, mint, lemon verbena and a few other things I grow in my herb garden. I'll send some home with you. It's sweetened with honey I collected from my bees yesterday." She smiled briefly, and her lips stretched over teeth that could benefit from a cosmetic dentist. "That's probably what you love so much."
Dottie nodded and studied the Madame. The years hadn't treated her so well. Dottie didn't know her age but her face was a mass of wrinkles that blended one into the other. Dottie guessed each wrinkle had its own story. Her skin appeared soft but deeply creased. Her jet black hair was streaked with gray and hung freely past her shoulders. She wore a simple blue shift with a silver belt and wore tennis shoes and socks. She smelled of lemon and freesia.
Dottie, as usual, smelled of Chanel #5. "It's so lovely out here, Madame. Do you ever come to town?"
Madame Toulescent shook her head. "Very rarely. My neighbor collects my groceries for me when I need them and as you know, I have a huge vegetable garden and I can and freeze most everything I need. I like it here and I like to stay with my animals - my dogs, cats, cow, mules and horses. It's quiet here and my love is nature."
Dottie nodded. She couldn't imagine staying in these four walls every single day. She supposed she didn't have the patience and gentleness of spirit that the Madame had. But that was okay. Dottie was very happy in her own way.
The two women shared a comfortable silence and continued to sip their tea until the Madame asked, "How can I help you today, Countess?" She smiled at her and said, "I can tell you have some significant things on your mind and that you are troubled."
Dottie put her teacup down and said, "Yes, I do. Have you been watching the news?" Dottie saw the woman pale under her sun-darkened skin.
Madame Toulescent nodded. "You’re here about the poisonings, aren't you?"
Dottie held Madame’s dark eyes with her own and said, "Yes, I am. Camilla Rothrock was one of my dearest friends and I need to know who poisoned her."
Madame shifted her gaze to the floor and said, "Countess Borghase, this is a very bad business that is happening. I've had some visions and they are upsetting. It reminds me of the evil work of Hitler in Germany."
This time it was Dottie who paled, her heart beating so hard she could hardly breathe. "Oh my God, Madame. We both remember his devastation in Europe and the millions of people he murdered."
Madame Toulescent rubbed her hands together, her face grim. "Indeed we do. A sad and sorry time. Let's move into the back where I work and see what we can see."
Dottie stood and followed Madame to the room in the far back of her modest home. It was a glass room with beautiful views into the forest. She left her teacup on the coffee table. Her heart thumped dangerously in her chest and she was short of breath. She was so terrified she almost lost her balance. She gripped her purse and cell phone in her hand. She was scared and just the idea of having the Glock made her feel safer. Could the evil be so strong it permeated her soul?
“Countess, why are you so upset? What can I do to help you?” Madame Toulescent looked at Dottie with concern.
Dottie stared at her but her eyes said it all.
“Let me get you something to calm you down so we can have a good reading. Please stay in the chair and I’ll be right back,” Madame Toulescent said as she left Dottie and walked to her kitchen.
Want To Read More? Read Chapter 35 here!
Friday, November 25, 2016
Intimate and fascinating, cleverly told-Prunes For Breakfast by John Searancke @OfficialPrunes #RPBP
I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving and aren't to wore out from your Black Friday Shopping!
We have some exciting news for you!
The bestselling memoir, 'Prunes For Breakfast' by John Searancke has been deeply discounted in eBook format!
You can get your copy today for £1.99/$1.99!
Here's a little about the book!
‘Many years after the deaths of my parents, my aunt handed me a box filled with letters that my father had written to my mother over the period from 1940 to 1945. This was the starting point of a journey for me to rediscover the father I had never really known...’
This is the story of John Searancke’s parents, told mostly from the side of his father, Eddie Searancke, from the time of his calling up in early 1940 to his release from a prisoner of war camp in Germany in 1945, thence his return to England to try to pick up the pieces of his old life. Nothing could ever be quite the same afterwards.
The letters take readers through five captivating years, telling of the ups and downs, the plots and counterplots, as Eddie rose through the ranks to end his war as a captain, elevated to that rank in the field as his troops faced the formidable might of the SS Panzers. The letters also reveal where his battle came to an abrupt end, in an orchard surrounded by the enemy and captured after a series of bloody skirmishes as the British army spearheaded its way from the beaches of Normandy. The journey as a prisoner across France and Germany in a truck, with comrades dying each day, may be as hard to read as it is to tell, particularly when a new life and new harsh rules had to be learned and rigidly enforced in a prison camp in northern Germany, the final destination.
This is written as part memoir, part fictionalised retelling and partly in letter format; John draws together all sources to recreate the five years of war and hardship that the letters span.
Not sure if this is a book you would enjoy? Read what others have said and decide for yourself.
5.0 out of 5 stars Intimate and fascinating.
Prunes for Breakfast was one of those books that lurked in the 'unread' section of my kindle, waiting for a time that I could give my full attention to a subject that deserves nothing less. If I'm totally honest, I probably wouldn't ordinarily purchase a book about war (definitely more my brother's cup of tea), but I enjoyed John Searanke's previous book - Dog Days in the Fortunate Islands so much, that when Amazon suggested that I might like Prunes for Breakfast, I decided to give them the benefit of the doubt and clicked on 'Buy now'.
Did I enjoy it? Without any doubt, yes I did. It was an intimate and fascinating account of one man's WW2, cleverly told through a bunch of letters written by the author's father to his young wife. I even found myself paying attention to the Notes on Military References, important to read if you want a real understanding of the numbers of men who went into battle.
Thank you John Searanke for sharing your father's war with us. We really do owe his generation an enormous debt of gratitude. By the way, if my husband had a prolonged absence from home, and returned for a weekend, he too would arrive with his golf clubs!
5.0 out of 5 stars A fascinating wartime read.
I am not normally a lover of war-based books, but I was attracted by the title and decided to read it anyway. I’m so glad I did. For me it is as much a study of social history as it is a story about one man’s experiences in World War 2.
Prunes for Breakfast focuses on the experiences of the author’s father, Eddie, when he signs up to join his local reserve regiment in the 1940s. What immediately sets it apart from many others on the subject is that much of the story is told through letters sent by Eddie to his wife. Letters that were so important at the time for the recipient, and which have been cherished and faithfully preserved.
I was fascinated by his commentary on day-to-day activities as the regiment wait for the call-up, some of which seemed humdrum and therefore challenging in their own way. But it doesn’t last forever. They starkly contrast to the horrors of war, which are then related in a very different way to protect his wife from the harsh reality of the situation. Latterly his capture and incarceration in a prison camp lends yet another dimension to his wartime experiences.
Without doubt I would recommend this book to anyone who has a special interest in World War 2 and the social history that surrounds it. The intimacy of the letters, in particular, gives the reader a direct insight of how one serviceman coped with being apart from his new wife, and latterly child. That, coupled with John Searancke’s excellent, clear writing style, makes this a compelling read.
5.0 out of 5 stars Intriguing
This book is an extremely interesting look into one mans life during his service in WWII. It was unlike any other book that I've read and found it fascinating. I became immersed in Mr. Searanckes life and learned so much about the war from his point of view. Highly recommended.
Don't wait! This sale won't last long. Get your copy here!
£1.99/$1.99 Time is Limited!!
books2read.com/Prunes4Breakfast
Please leave your indie authors a review and share the joy of reading with others!
Thanks for stopping by and good luck in the giveaway!!
Margaret & Sarah Jane
The bestselling memoir, 'Prunes For Breakfast' by John Searancke has been deeply discounted in eBook format!
You can get your copy today for £1.99/$1.99!
Here's a little about the book!
This is the story of John Searancke’s parents, told mostly from the side of his father, Eddie Searancke, from the time of his calling up in early 1940 to his release from a prisoner of war camp in Germany in 1945, thence his return to England to try to pick up the pieces of his old life. Nothing could ever be quite the same afterwards.
The letters take readers through five captivating years, telling of the ups and downs, the plots and counterplots, as Eddie rose through the ranks to end his war as a captain, elevated to that rank in the field as his troops faced the formidable might of the SS Panzers. The letters also reveal where his battle came to an abrupt end, in an orchard surrounded by the enemy and captured after a series of bloody skirmishes as the British army spearheaded its way from the beaches of Normandy. The journey as a prisoner across France and Germany in a truck, with comrades dying each day, may be as hard to read as it is to tell, particularly when a new life and new harsh rules had to be learned and rigidly enforced in a prison camp in northern Germany, the final destination.
This is written as part memoir, part fictionalised retelling and partly in letter format; John draws together all sources to recreate the five years of war and hardship that the letters span.
Not sure if this is a book you would enjoy? Read what others have said and decide for yourself.
5.0 out of 5 stars Intimate and fascinating.
Prunes for Breakfast was one of those books that lurked in the 'unread' section of my kindle, waiting for a time that I could give my full attention to a subject that deserves nothing less. If I'm totally honest, I probably wouldn't ordinarily purchase a book about war (definitely more my brother's cup of tea), but I enjoyed John Searanke's previous book - Dog Days in the Fortunate Islands so much, that when Amazon suggested that I might like Prunes for Breakfast, I decided to give them the benefit of the doubt and clicked on 'Buy now'.
Did I enjoy it? Without any doubt, yes I did. It was an intimate and fascinating account of one man's WW2, cleverly told through a bunch of letters written by the author's father to his young wife. I even found myself paying attention to the Notes on Military References, important to read if you want a real understanding of the numbers of men who went into battle.
Thank you John Searanke for sharing your father's war with us. We really do owe his generation an enormous debt of gratitude. By the way, if my husband had a prolonged absence from home, and returned for a weekend, he too would arrive with his golf clubs!
5.0 out of 5 stars A fascinating wartime read.
I am not normally a lover of war-based books, but I was attracted by the title and decided to read it anyway. I’m so glad I did. For me it is as much a study of social history as it is a story about one man’s experiences in World War 2.
Prunes for Breakfast focuses on the experiences of the author’s father, Eddie, when he signs up to join his local reserve regiment in the 1940s. What immediately sets it apart from many others on the subject is that much of the story is told through letters sent by Eddie to his wife. Letters that were so important at the time for the recipient, and which have been cherished and faithfully preserved.
I was fascinated by his commentary on day-to-day activities as the regiment wait for the call-up, some of which seemed humdrum and therefore challenging in their own way. But it doesn’t last forever. They starkly contrast to the horrors of war, which are then related in a very different way to protect his wife from the harsh reality of the situation. Latterly his capture and incarceration in a prison camp lends yet another dimension to his wartime experiences.
Without doubt I would recommend this book to anyone who has a special interest in World War 2 and the social history that surrounds it. The intimacy of the letters, in particular, gives the reader a direct insight of how one serviceman coped with being apart from his new wife, and latterly child. That, coupled with John Searancke’s excellent, clear writing style, makes this a compelling read.
5.0 out of 5 stars Intriguing
This book is an extremely interesting look into one mans life during his service in WWII. It was unlike any other book that I've read and found it fascinating. I became immersed in Mr. Searanckes life and learned so much about the war from his point of view. Highly recommended.
Don't wait! This sale won't last long. Get your copy here!
£1.99/$1.99 Time is Limited!!
books2read.com/Prunes4Breakfast
Please leave your indie authors a review and share the joy of reading with others!
Have you entered our giveaway yet? Now is your chance to enter to win! We have 3 fabulous prizes to giveaway!
Enter today and share it with your friends and family too!
Margaret & Sarah Jane
Wednesday, November 23, 2016
#TeaserTuesday from @pt_macias with Angels Of The Fallen : 'Lucifer' Book Four #excerpt #preorder #eBook #RPBP
Who's Your Favorite Fallen Angel?
Coming On 12.25.16
Two For Tuesday Teaser!
Excerpt #1
The fiery pit of hell erupts, shooting scorching crimson
flames up through the different stations of hell.
Sofiel stops halfway down the ramp to glare at Lucifer. She
squares her shoulders and tosses her long dark hair over her shoulders. Her
glowing light gray eyes narrow and she lifts her chin up squaring her
shoulders.
“I’m here to do my job! I’m not here to see you! I’m glad
that you’re still here paying for your insolence!”
Lucifer laughs out loud at Sofiel.
“You’re a complete fool! Yeah, I paid for my imprudence.”
“I’m not the fool Lucifer! You think very highly of
yourself! That’s the problem with you! That’s what gets you in trouble, isn't?
I’m not here for you!”
Lucifer stands tall with his right hand on his silver sword.
His bicep flexes as he moves, and he stands straight with his feet spread wide.
He grips the silver sword, beautifully embellished with precious jewels that
glow as he moves. The silver bracers, embossed with an intricate pattern,
emphasis his muscular forearms.
Lucifer is a handsome man with dark black hair. His beard is
trimmed to enhance his square jawline. His nose is straight, and he has sexy,
full, sensual red lips. His beautiful bright blue eyes glow with his inner
power, shining brightly.
The expensive black slacks fit him perfectly snug
accentuating his wide shirtless shoulders. The hot flames cast a soft glow on
his golden skin. The soft black curls cover his chest, tapering down to
disappear below his pants. He looks sexy, dangerous, and beautiful.
Lucifer narrows his bright blue eyes and raises his eyebrow.
Lucifer narrows his bright blue eyes and raises his eyebrow.
"I suggest that you stop looking for me, Sofiel."
Excerpt #2
“What the fuck are you doing here?”Lucifer deep thunderous voice booms out as he walks down the ramp. The fiery fire pit flares shooting fire balls up the stations of hell.
Sofiel stops, moves back against the black limestone wall watching the fireballs. She then turns to look over at Luc raising trembling hands to push back her long dark black hair. She tucks some locks behind her ears. She then moves away from the wall and walks over to Lucifer.
“Angel Lucifer, I’m here to see how you’re doing. I was worried about you.”
Lucifer gazes down at her and shakes his head crossing his arms.
“Angel Sofiel, this place is not for the likes of you. You need to return to the heavens before your tainted! You need to return before someone notices that you’re gone. The time in the heavens and earth are different. The time on earth passes swiftly.”
Sofiel takes a step closer and grasps her hands tight to stop from trembling. Her huge light gray eyes glow and the silver specks flash brightly. She slowly smiles up at him tilting her head to the right.
“Angel Lucifer, I’m lost without you in the lecture hall. Gabriel doesn’t have time to teach me. I. . . .I . . miss. . . . .you.”
Luc shakes his head, glares at her, and looks away. He clenches his jaw, the muscle twitches from the intense pressure that he’s inflicting, and narrows his eyes to look at the fiery pit.
“Angel Sofiel, return to your station. Stop calling me Angel Lucifer! I’m not an Angel!”
Lucifer turns to look at her, his brilliant blue eyes glow, and his silver specks flash with the beat of his racing heart.
Get Your Copy of Book Four of
The Watchers' Series.
Angels Of The Fallen: Lucifer
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Thursday, November 17, 2016
#TeaserThursday from @pt_macias with Angels Of The Fallen : 'Samyaza' Book One #excerpt #99cent #eBook
“Ok, Yazy, take off that jacket and walk into the shower stall. The water should be nice and warm. You’ll love it!”
Samyaza raises his eyebrows, looking at the water spraying from the shower head. He looks at the steam swirling around.
“Ah…yeah.”
He shrugs his shoulders and the jacket falls off his shoulders and slides down his wounds. He winces and closes his eyes. He takes in a sharp breath.
“What’s wrong?”
Crystal quickly steps around him to look at his back. She gasps, outraged, and her color drains from her face.
“Omg! What did they do to you! Your flesh is totally shredded. How in the world have you been able to tolerate the pain?”
Samyaza clenches his jaw and turns to around to look at her. He narrows his eyes and nods.
“Sweet Crystal, I’ll be much better as soon as I eat a meal. I would heal quicker if I have more blood.”
He watches her closely, watching her pale complexion.
“Yazy, are you serious! Look at your back!”
She points to the mirror, frowning, and turns him around.
Samyaza turns around and looks into the large bathroom mirror. He frowns, and nods. He closes his eyes.
Yes, that’s what flogging does to you but I’ll be ok. I understand why she’s so upset. I need to convince her that I’m going to be ok.
He opens his eyes and gazes into her eyes. He raises both hands and rests them on her trembling shoulders.
“Sweet Crystal, please believe in what I’m going to tell you. Remember that I’m an angel. Well, a fallen angel, and most important immortal. That means that I usually regenerate but I was without sustenance for such a long time that my energy is depleted. I need nourishment or blood to boost my energy. My body will regenerate soon as I have the power that I need.”
He looks deeply into her beautiful hazel eyes, reaching her soul.
She blinks rapidly and her tears fall down her face. She shakes her head, trying to understand what he told her.
“Yazy, I don’t understand how someone could hurt you so. It’s too painful to see. I hurt for you.”
Her tears continue to fall down her face and he pulls her into his arms.
“My sweet Crystal, please don’t shed your tears for me. I don’t deserve your tears. I promise you that I’m going to be ok.”
Get Your Watchers' Series Starter here: books2read.com/Samyaza
and get #Reading!
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Monday, November 14, 2016
A very funny science fiction adventure! by RP Momsen @philtheuniverse #Bestselling #Free #SciFi #NewRelease
PHIL!
By: RP Momsen
A very funny science fiction adventure that will change the way you look at life, the universe and why we're all here. Billions of years ago, our universe was born. Not really that terribly exciting for most life forms except of course yourselves… and, well, Phil. The poor bastard who’s had to watch over all you people the last billion or so years. Well, finally after years of listening to all your griping, bitching and whining, always with some imaginary being getting all the credit, he’s finally had it! Phil has decided to explain what the world is, why you’re here and how you can evolve finally into a species worth talking about at parties. In this hilarious actual account, Phil takes two unwitting Physicists on the adventure of their lives, which isn’t saying much for a couple of physicists, and shows them what life, the universe and lovely little corner pubs really is all about. They’re transported to other dimensions to meet their better looking selves, get taken prisoner by an evil but very good looking race, fly through black holes and help the creation of a new planet all while their greatest challenge hangs in the balance, saving earth from the most evil, and best dressed, species the universe has ever seen. Will they save earth? Has all the years of hard work Phil has done creating you beings be lost? Does any of this really matter?
Goodreads
Exclusive to Amazon
A very funny science fiction adventure that will change the way you look at life, the universe and why we're all here. Billions of years ago, our universe was born. Not really that terribly exciting for most life forms except of course yourselves… and, well, Phil. The poor bastard who’s had to watch over all you people the last billion or so years. Well, finally after years of listening to all your griping, bitching and whining, always with some imaginary being getting all the credit, he’s finally had it! Phil has decided to explain what the world is, why you’re here and how you can evolve finally into a species worth talking about at parties. In this hilarious actual account, Phil takes two unwitting Physicists on the adventure of their lives, which isn’t saying much for a couple of physicists, and shows them what life, the universe and lovely little corner pubs really is all about. They’re transported to other dimensions to meet their better looking selves, get taken prisoner by an evil but very good looking race, fly through black holes and help the creation of a new planet all while their greatest challenge hangs in the balance, saving earth from the most evil, and best dressed, species the universe has ever seen. Will they save earth? Has all the years of hard work Phil has done creating you beings be lost? Does any of this really matter?
Goodreads
Exclusive to Amazon
Enjoy An Excerpt
Ping.
Ping.
“You gonna answer that?” Delphinia slurred. Typically an attractive female colleague, except now she had half a glass of Pan Universal Kumquat Juice down her front, and somehow an equal amount sprayed randomly throughout her hair. We were all drunk—she was winning.
“Just another idiotic human with some whiny ‘I can’t do anything for myself’ question.” “Are they still making you do that? Didn’t you create some god chat line for them to look up on their own?” asked Braithwaight, a much larger and uglier version of myself who had the unusual characteristic of having the largest nostrils in the universe. You wouldn't know them as nostrils, of course, given that their size and look is of one of your outhouses, massively uneven, bright orange and dripping with something I'd rather not discuss.
“Ya, but they seem to be using it mostly for porn and watching other humans or animals doing idiotic stuff, which is even stranger when you realize that the average human does 4.8 stupid things per week; you would think watching each other in real time would keep them amused enough,” I replied. Braithwaight was correct, after all—a number of years ago, I had instructed humans to create something called God Gab to answer all their questions and, hopefully, quit bothering me. As usual, they misunderstood, called it Google, and continued to harass me anyway.
“Slow... what dey say?” Delphinia slurred, spitting Pan Universal Kumquat Juice over both of us, which as it turned out was actually rather tasty; I decided to order one next despite it being a bit of a girly drink.
“Dear Lord.” (Dear Phil, it should have actually read.) Please give me strength in dealing with my two kids; I’m always so tired, they stay awake for hours on end, I seem to be the only one in the house able to nap, they eat all my food, hide my weed and are even messier than my 3 ex husbands. I can’t keep doing it. What should I do?”
“Signed ‘lame-ass, stoned and grumpy Mom.’ I added the last part.” I ordered my drink despite Braithwaighte’s sudden drunken episode of visualizing me in a short skirt with nice big perky ears; an odd and very unsexy effect of the alcohol.
“So, how do you answer it?” Braithwaight asked, refocusing himself.
“ I usually give some form of positive bullshit advice that they ignore, and then they continue doing exactly what they’ve been doing for years,” I replied.
“You should just sway what you twink then; who cares what they do?” Delphinia again slurred, though this time with more drooling than spitting, which was fine with me since I now had my own drink. Oddly enough, this had never occurred to me before, which just goes to show that the advice of a really drunk person should not be discounted even when slurred, spat, or dribbled. I took two large gulps of my drink, hoping to gain some more of this wisdom; my entire mind seemed to open up and swallow everything around me; my eyes fell out of my head, dropped off the table, and rolled under my now very short skirt, and then I spat the remaining mouthful onto my two companions, to which Braithwaight said ‘mmmm’ before promptly ordering one for himself.
If it had seemed like a good idea before, after two sips of Pan Universal Kumquat Juice, it became the most brilliant idea since the first crossing of the universe in a giant Easter egg with very slightly modified snowshoes and a six-pack of Grantham Planetary Beers. Without putting anymore thought into it, or in fact having any more thought left, I promptly replied to my lame ass Mom message “I would suggest refraining from drinking every night until near unconsciousness, or adoption, whichever ones easier. Signed, Phil.
PS. There is no Lord—Surprise!”
Author Info
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Tuesday, November 8, 2016
"There is strength in submission…and knowing who you are." New Release from @erzabetbishop! Hedging Her Bets available for #99cents #RPBP
New from bestselling and award-winning author Erzabet Bishop! The first in a new series complete with shifters and all things sexy that go bump in the night.
99 cents for a limited time! Grab your copy today!
Title: Hedging Her Bets
Series: The Shifting Hearts Dating Agency
#shifters #curvygirl #hedgie #bear #cat #spanking
#light BDSM
#menage #KU #Amazon
MM, MMF
Long blurb:
There is strength in submission…and knowing who you are.
Natalie Erinaceus has a problem. Her manipulating mother won’t stay out of her dating life. One more dinner with a blind date and someone is getting a fork to the eye. Her inner hedgehog wants a mate and nothing is going to stop her. Not her nervous hedgie’s habit of balling-up and certainly not that online questionnaire. Who writes those things anyway?
When Sylvia and Paige from Shifting Hearts Dating Agency step in maybe, just maybe this curvy girl will find more than she ever dreamed in the arms of the men who are fated to be her mates.
Nothing ventured nothing gained…
Lucas Morgan runs a Scarlet Ink, a tattoo shop across from Ventures, a sexy as hell BDSM club. When his sister Scarlet sets the stage for romance, he meets Jonathan, a werebear in need of more than just some ink. Can Lucas learn to bend to the Dominant of his dreams? What happens when this cat shifter switch meets the perfect sub and his dreams of having a woman in his life become reality?
Three makes a family…
Jonathan Blevins is a bear shifter looking for love. His family murdered by poachers, he came to Cypress Canyon to rebuild. When he finds Lucas, it’s one step in the right direction. He has one mate but can he convince a stubborn hedgie she’s ready to be claimed by not just one mate, but two?
Short blurb:
Natalie Erinaceus is a woman on a mission: find her own mate. Enter Shifting Hearts Dating Agency. Lucas runs Scarlet Ink, a tattoo shop across from Ventures, a sexy as hell BDSM club. Jonathan is a bear shifter looking for love. When he finds Lucas, it’s one step in the right direction. He has one mate but can he convince a stubborn hedgie she’s ready to be claimed by not just one mate, but two?
Buy link:
Amazon: http://rxe.me/ZIV94T
Add to Goodreads!
Excerpt:
Chapter One
“Paige, where in the hell did you put the password log book?” Sylvia groaned as she flicked on the computer and the logo for the Shifting Hearts Dating Agency flashed across the screen. The agency had been open for six months, growing a little more every day. Their wall of successful matings and marriages increasing making Sylvia eager to check out her newest applicants and see any potential matches. But she always forgot the password. Either that, or Paige was always changing it.
She bet the latter.
Tricky damned cat shifter.
A descendent of Aphrodite, helping others find love was in Sylvia’s blood. Nothing made her happier. One day she’d find her own swoon-worthy prince charming, but at this point…well, she was content helping others. A tinge of sadness slid in and she firmly booted it away. The right person would come along at the right time, not before. This was her job, her chosen career and damned if she wasn’t going to use her power for helping people. With a push if it required it.
But if she saw that damned incubus, Carter, again, she was going to shove his ass clear out the window. Cheating fucker. He’d get his one day. She had people to help and it didn’t do her much good to think about murder before she’d at least had a cup of coffee. A really big cup too.
Everything here in Cypress Valley, Texas ran toward big and she hoped by setting up business here with the growing shifter population, her profits would start to be too. It was all great being descended from Goddess material, but if you didn’t have the dollars to go with the lifestyle, then it wasn’t so much fun anymore. Time to shake her money maker and get some romance in the air.
She got up from the desk, her new heels making her wince. She hobbled over to the kitchenette area in the back of the office and flicked on the overpriced individual cup coffee maker Paige insisted they buy. Her co-partner stood next to the counter, stuffing the better part of a jumbo blueberry muffin into her mouth.
“Now that is one big muffin.”
She held up a finger and kept on chewing.
“Nice salute there, hun. Cat get up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?”
Paige growled around the muffin, her cat shining in her eyes.
“Ewwww. Somebody is grumpy today.” Sylvia rolled her eyes and shook her head. Coffee. Lots of coffee. Then she’d deliberate about food. And passwords. She eyed the flavored pods with distrust, knowing Paige was watching, and selected one that read Hazelnut. She popped it into place like Paige had shown her and hit the start button. A dribble of brown liquid began to flow from the machine and too late she remembered she hadn’t placed a cup below the spigot.
“Shit!” Sylvia scrambled and reached for the nearest mug, shoving it in place. The scalding hot liquid poured over her hand and she let out a yowl.
A choked laugh from across the kitchenette met her ears.
Still munching on her muffin with an innocent smile on her face, Paige grinned and gave a pinky wave.
Bitch. At least that was an improvement over the last finger, she supposed.
Sylvia gazed at her friend with narrowed eyes and ran her hand under the faucet. “That wasn’t nice.”
“Sorry. But you made me almost inhale that one.” Paige snorted into her hand and popped the last of the muffin into her mouth. Not afraid of sporting her brunette curves, Paige was a kitty to be reckoned with, whether it was man or muffin…or modern appliance.
“Ugh.” Sylvia snatched up her cup and marched back to her desk, irritation prickling under her skin. New machines wigged her out. So did computers and newfangled cars. If she got too excited, her goddess tendencies could have adverse side effects to the point where Paige teased her that she must be related to Harry Dresden. At her blank look, she’d sighed and flicked something up on her phone, twisting it so Sylvia could see. “You know. The Dresden Files?” A picture of a book cover covered the screen.
She’d had no earthly idea what her friend was talking about. If it didn’t have vampires or a hot scantily clad shifter, she didn’t bother.
“You need to read more than just smut, girl.”
“Yeah…yeah.”
But what was the point to that?
“Sorry, Syl. The password book’s in the drawer where I always leave it.” Paige maneuvered her way to the desk on heels so high Sylvia didn’t know how she didn’t fall on her impeccably made up face. “And unless you plan on sticking your mouth underneath the pour nozzle, I’d have a cup ready next time.”
“Ha ha.”
Her friend’s blazer and top worked well with the jeans and boots she’d selected for the day. It was raining and knowing her cat shifter partner, she’d rather be curled up in her bed with a pile of blankets than be out and about.
Paige clutched an oversize cup of coffee like it was her lifeline, pausing mid-stride to take a sip. The rest of her may have been spot on but her bleary eyes told a story. Sylvia wasn’t sure she really wanted to ask.
“You okay?”
“Yep.” Paige set the cup down, the milky brown liquid sloshing dangerously close to the rim. “Tried out a new venue last night and I think I found us a whole new segment of the shifter population.”
“Really?” Sylvia grinned, “And where did you go, pray tell?”
Paige glanced around, nibbling her lip. “Is Rafe here?”
“Nope. I haven’t seen your brother yet. Why?”
“Good.” A flash of cat in Paige’s eyes revealed her excitement. “I went to Ventures.”
Sylvia wrinkled her nose. “Where?”
“The new bondage club on Fifth Street. It caters to humans, shifters, and other paranormals.” A smile lit up her eyes and she reached for the coffee again, sitting down with a wince. “They had a kind of open house event and I wanted to check it out to see if there was any potential for us to join forces.”
“And?”
Paige focused on her cup, a secret smile on her lips.
“Did you hurt yourself?”
“Not exactly.”
Sylvia blinked. Oh….So that was how it was.
“So you think we’ll get some clients?”
Paige fidgeted in her chair and fired up her own computer. “You just wait, girlfriend. I have a feeling before the day is out we’ll be seeing something new coming across our desk. Now, where did you put the file on the Jefferson twins? I think I met someone that could give them a run for their money.”
About the author:
Erzabet Bishop is an award-winning and bestselling author who loves to write naughty stories. She is the author of Lipstick, Crave, Snow (Three Times More Lucky Box Set), Malediction (A Wicked Halloween Box Set), Map of Bones (A Wicked Affair Box Set), Sanguine Shadows (Vampire Bites Box Set), The Science of Lust, Wicked for You, Heart’s Protector, Burning for You, Taming the Beast, Mistletoe Kisses (Dec 2016), Surrender (Dec 2016), Under Cover of Darkness (2017), Three for Two (2017), Hedging Her Bets (Alpha Fever Box Set), Cat’s Got Her Tongue (Alpha Heat Box Set), Kitten Around (upcoming), Torment (Feb 2017), Arcane Imaginarium: Spirit Board, Holidays in Hell, Mallory’s Mark (upcoming),The Devil’s Due (upcoming), Charity Benshaw’s Enchanted Paddle Emporium (upcoming), Club Beam, Pomegranate, A Red Dress for Christmas, The Black Magic Café, Sweet Seductions, The Erotic Pagans Series: Beltane Fires, Samhain Shadows and Yuletide Temptation along with being a contributor to many anthologies. She lives in Texas with her husband, furry children and can often be found lurking in local bookstores. She loves to bake, make naughty crochet projects and watch monster movies.
Follow her on Twitter @erzabetbishop.
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